This Can't Be Happening Again

Angelina swallowed another screw. I am not even kidding. Kidding at this point would just be cruel.

What was it, a few years ago when she swallowed the other one? The big wood screw type thing with two screws attached to each other? The monstrosity of a screw?

According to her this one is a little one. I was in the kitchen and she was at the other end of our tiny house. I heard her in the bathroom puking. (The plus side to all of this, if there is a plus side, my girl can make it to the toilet to do the puking.)

She tells me the screw choked her and she had to puke. I went through the twenty questions.

Where did you get the screw from? The candle drawer.

How big was it? Big

What did it look like? It had a pointy end.

Now, you are thinking to your self, oh lady you got more problems with this one than a person should have. But I was trying to get her to tell me if it was one of those funky screws from the previous screw swallowing incident. Finally, I ran around and got out examples of all the screws I could find, including the weird one. She picked out the smallest of the bunch and had a eureka moment. You could see the lightbulb click and just knew that she had the one.

It was the smallest one of the bunch, but still a pretty big one in width. Just not long.

I swear. I think she's the reason I'm turning grey. I won't even tell you about the peeing in the cup in the hallway incident while I was at work a few nights ago. Sometimes I just don't know how her brain works. She is so intelligent but then does some of the weirdest kid things. And don't you dare ask where are the parents when this is all happening. We are right here, supervising and it still happens. She is like the Bermuda Triangle of Freaky Weird Shit That Kids Do.

Am I off to the ER? I don't know. I'm a pro at weird swallowing things and insane medical calamities. I may decide to sit this one out and invest in some latex gloves.

Because you do realize, don't you, that we'll be on poop check around here for probably the next five to seven days.

I am not shitting you. Pun intended. I couldn't make this crap up if I tried. Pun intended again.