Sins of Thy Mother

I try to be a good mom to my three kiddos. I spend time with them reading, learning, playing, catching snowflakes, swimming, camping. You get the picture. They eat semi-nutritious meals. Laundry is done with love (ha). I volunteer at school to the point of needing my own office space there. I keep on them to do their best. And above all they are told how much I love them and how absolutely proud I am of them.

I don't get to spend a ton of time with my son, so one way I let Stephen know how I feel is an occasional note in his lunch. He's 7, second grade. I thought we were still "safe" to continue this little activity of a note in the lunch a few times a month. I'm smart enough to know that at some point it's so not cool to have a note from your mom in your lunch. But right now I know that it really means a lot to Stephen and he likes the little jokes or sentences I leave him, but at some point it will have to stop.

That point may have been reached yesterday. After only a year and a half of school lunches, with maybe two handfuls of notes during that time.

A boy in his class saw that Stephen had a note from me.

"What's that? A note from your mom?"

Stephen "Yeah, so?"

Mean Boy, "That's goofy."

Damn him. I know it seems simple enough, just two words, but how much power do we give to those words. Do I ignore them, continue the notes and make my son the laughing stock of his class? I can hear the taunts and jeers now. Kids were mean when I was growing up and they are still mean. Kids are just plain stinking awful to each sometimes.

The kid that said this has an alcoholic mother. I know this for a 100% true without a doubt fact. The woman shows up to school functions just ripped off her gourd. Last year at the ice cream social she was so ripped she was going off about sex education and how she's already given her kids all the facts they need to keep it in their pants. Her boys ages? At the time they were 6 and 7 years old. This lady ain't winning a MoY award any time soon.

I know that the little boy probably does think the note is goofy. And it's possible he's a little jealous becaue he knows that Stephen has something he doesn't have. A mom who is 100% behind her kid. A father who coaches the kids at basketball and really works with them to encourage them and make them good team players. But he doesn't have a mom like me or a dad like Steve. It's hard for me to be angry with the kid for saying things like that at 7 years old knowing that his home life pretty much sucks. With a little love and lot of encouragement, he could be a great kid. But instead he's stuck at school with my kid making fun of him.

Making fun of my son because he has a mother who cares enough to tell her son that's she is proud of him. While his mom is passed out on the couch from her latest bender.

I'd like to have a talk with his mother when she's sober enough to understand the words coming out of my mouth. She's screwed her kid up. Already at 7, he's screwed up and seen things that my kids won't have to see in their childhood.

I'm not going to let her screwed up kid stop me from telling mine how much I think of him. I knew at some points the notes would have to stop. But I found a way around it so that the other kids won't see Stephen has a note from his mommy.

In twenty years when my son is an adult and he remembers times from school I know he won't remember names or faces of half the kids he went to school with. But I know damn well that he will know how much he is loved and how proud I am of him every day. No 7 year old can change that.